The Idol of Me

Can "me" be an idol? I, me. What am I doing with my time? Am I being productive enough? Am I eating right? Where's my weight at? Are my clients getting enough help and encouragement from me? Am I worrying too much? I'm worrying to much. What's the best way to use my free time? Am I living for God the right way?

I'm trying to search for idols in my life. A question was posed to me, "What gods do you possess? We have idols we honor more than God regarding our time and emotions...Which idol should you and your family eliminate?" 

I thought maybe it was worry, or maybe perfectionism. Worrying about being perfect, but also worrying about the fact that I worry so much. These are problems for me, but these weren't hitting the mark. They are symptoms of the idol.

I think it's me. I think "me" is the idol. How much time to I spend thinking about me? 100 percent of my time.  My days are filled with me, my work, my clients, my parents, my time, my free time, my dinner, my breakfast, my room is messy, my laundry needs to be folded, me me me me me what else can I do? Me me me me me me me. It's all about me!!!!!!!! 

How do I leave me and live for God? How do I destroy this idol? I heard a sermon one time by Francis Chan and his wife. She said something to the effect of: "The more internally focused you are, the more miserable you will be." 

That has stuck with me. But has it changed me? 

Lord, change me. Take me out of myself. Help me live for You. Help me be selfless.

I feel a weight lifted. I feel I can breathe deeper, inhale a little bit more into my lungs. Relief in discovery. There are so many things I don't do, and so many selfish things I do do, because of me me me. My time, my work, my life, my plan. I want less of this in my life. Let this life be God's.