Thorns and Thistles

I just got home from a BibleStudy Fellowship (BSF) lesson, and feel compelled to come to the Lord. God is so gracious for revealing sin to me, calling me to confess and be healed. This week’s BSF lesson was on Genesis, when Adam and Eve committed the first sin. After they sinned, God asked them what they had done (though He already knew). They tried to hide, tried to blame, attempted to rationalize. Yet the answer to God’s question was simple: yes, they disobeyed. So the teacher of the lesson asked, “What is your response when God convicts you? Do you get defensive and list reasons why you did it?”

God is tugging at my heart. And I am defensive.

Yet I store up His calling me. And I recall this Sunday’s sermon about uprooting sin to make room for growth. Pastor Skyler said, “True freedom is not having to be a slave to our corrupt nature.” He said to “take regular spiritual inventories. Reflect on behaviors, choices, attitudes. Be honest about what you find.” And then confess your sins, share your struggles, be open, and be healed. He likes to remind us, “God loves us too much to let us stay where we are.”

I’m gonna be real here. I’ve been struggling with a sin called lust. It is a sin of the mind that can have detrimental consequences—not only in actions, but in the way that I doubt God’s goodness and am angry for where I am at (single), and am discontent, and coveting what I do not have. It is a sin of jealousy and this awful feeling of emptiness and is a lie that only looks like it can fulfill what it promises.

I have been making my own version of truth as it relates to lust. And it involves all sorts of excuses. But God has spoken to me too many times for my heart to remain where it’s at (empty discontent). On the ride home from BSF tonight, my silly mind first said, I want to do this right so let’s wait till tomorrow to really meet with God, sit and chat, and get this thing figured out. But that was definitely satan. God spoke through this lie of “wait to be perfect to be right with God,” and I felt my heart move towards, No, I’m doing this tonight! God is gracious to give me the chance right now to be free from this, and I’m going to do it!

Whatever is

True

Honorable

Right

Pure

Lovely

Admirable

Excellent

Praiseworthy—Think of These Things!

You tell me, where on this list does lust belong?

Please, pray for me to know and trust in God’s goodness and provision for me, not just for whatever He will bring in my future, but for what He has given me right now. Thank you for reading, and praying.

In His Goodness, Alexis.