What have I been missing?
I just read some of Linda Dillow's words from her book Calm My Anxious Heart. In a section titled "The Creation of Your Life Purpose," she writes, "Imagine your life as a piece of art...Stand back and look at the picture. What do you see reflected? Do you see the character of Christ, or do you see frantic activity?...Too often in our lives, accomplishment and doing overshadow growth and becoming."
I rewrote that last line again. Because it is good.
Too. Often. In. Our. Lives. Accomplishment and Doing overshadow Growth and Becoming.
As of late, I have been frantically worrying about what to do, what I'm not doing, what the world says I should be doing, what God would be disappointed if I didn't do. What do I DO????? I am unemployed, and therefore useless, ugly, lazy, weighed by school loans--who thought this college thing was a good idea!? I am torn down by expectations and emails that praise "other candidates." What is my Purpose? Humans intrinsically need one of these! This is absolutely certain.
So. What have I been missing? Thank you Linda. As soon as I read this chapter out of her book, I knew I needed to re-read it. And stop. And think hard about it. This is important. This is life-changing. Where does my worth come from? Re-read Proverbs 31 again. Does this woman's family praise her for what she does? Nope. They did not praise her "because she was up at dawn, working into the night, or because she sewed their clothes, organized the home, and took food to the poor. They praised her for her spiritual character." Proverbs 31: 30 says, "A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
God can work on my character, and give me purpose--with or without a job. News flash! He does not love me because companies fought over who got me (obviously this hasn't happened). He is not waiting or halting my spiritual growth because I am in a waiting period of life (what am I doing with my life!?). He loves me, and has already given me a purpose. Today is my purpose. He has given me a home, a family, a ministry. I do not have a job, and am not making money. Yet. And yet my worth is not based on that. My worth is based in Him.
There's a lot in this post. Digest it. My brain is still trying. Hence the unedited stream. Read Psalm 139 and Proverbs 31. And Linda's book. Don't miss what's in there.