God is incredible. I asked, and He answered. Sunday morning the message was about Deep Change. It was given by Eric Lerew, and it spoke to my situation too perfectly. You can listen here.
He talked about godly sorrow.
Do you know what that is? Worldy sorrow leads to regret; godly sorrow leads to repentance.
Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but wordly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done” (2 Corinthians 7:10-11).
Eric asked the church to think about that one thing we were holding onto. He said, “His love is consistent, but you’re not experiencing His love to the fullest, if you’re hanging onto that.” I knew exactly what it was I was holding onto. Bitterness.
He talked of repentance as replacing one thing with another; turning from one thing and going toward another. “Repentance involves a deliberate turn from sin to righteousness.” I felt God pointing to my heart and calling me to repent and change, act differently, replace sinful actions with loving ones.
I know, but.
I know, but.
I know, but…
I needed help. So that night, God assisted me. My parents had an argument about something, and when someone is hurting, I like to go to them and build them up. So, I went to my mom and asked her how she was. Then it turned into a conversation, then I sat down, held her hand, and talked some more. I mentioned how I hate how I’ve been treating her. I’m so glad I could tell her. The next day, I found out I officially got a job (praising God!!!), and so my mom and dad took me out to dinner. And we laughed in the empty restaurant over a joke my dad said. Joy cannot coexist with bitterness.
And so, God is working. He is so good. I am so thankful. Thank you for praying to the faithful Almighty on my behalf. Now, pray that every time I have the choice to be mean or to be kind and patient, pray I would choose love and patience. “The lips of the righteous nourish many” (Proverbs 10:21). Praying to be that.